12/15/2009
Have you ever been in a situation where you & your SO (significant other) got into an argument whether it’s in person, or over the phone? And 9/10 it usually doesn’t end on a good note? I’ve been there plenty of times.
I personally feel that it’s not a good idea to go to bed mad about ANYTHING. I use “romantic relationships” as the core of this post because a lot of us have this bad when it comes to this department.
I know there’s times where you may get into an argument with maybe a friend or someone and when you have said your last words & it’s all been let out you want to leave the situation alone. It’s best that you both talk it out, preferably in person. You’re probably thinking why does that make a difference? Well the tone of your voice over the phone could be interpreted the wrong way. Nonverbal cues (rolling of the eyes, looking the other way, hands in the pocket, body language) helps you interpret the msg that their trying to make & where they’re coming from.
Oh yea, let’s talk about interpretation. Ever got a text msg and thought someone had an attitude but they may not have had one but you “assumed” they did then conflict may have occurred? Even if they didn’t use exclamations or CAPS you truly felt they had an attitude. I myself try to avoid assuming things like this. If I can’t talk to the person about the situation face-to-face, I usually call them up: that’s make that my PLAN B.
--Getting back on track--
Okay so let me run this down with a few helpful tips with scenarios included:
Get into an argument with someone over the phone:
PLAN A-calm down, then call them & ask them to come over so you two can talk it out
*if it can’t happen*
PLAN B-calm down, then try discussing it over the phone.
Argument through text msg:
PLAN A-call the person up if you sense some tension in the text msg, and ask the person about whatever it is you’re confused about.
*if that can’t happen*
PLAN B-ask what the person meant, and when doing this ask one question at a time in each text. People tend to look over things when you’re asking multiple things at once so you would want to be as accurate and clear as possible.
Argument face-to-face:
Take a few minutes to get your thoughts together, then talk it out & make your valued points. Don’t BS and try to make the person even more upset, because you will be wasting not only their time but yours as well.
The feeling of going to bed mad is a nasty feeling at times. You never really go to bed “right away”. Why? Because you’re laying there thinking about what occurred today. Why the person said this or that. Or something about it is eating you up inside. I’m not saying that these techniques will always work or for every situation, but it’s worth trying and worth changing how you handle situations like this.
I can personally say I have changed my ways and outlook on this. I can actually say I rarely get into arguments with the individuals that I use to get into arguments with over & over again. And it’s made me a better person & relationships are much better. I like discussing serious things face-to-face. I can better express how I feel about things that way. Also, don’t get the meaning of arguments and disagreements mixed up. They’re completely different.
So if you’re in a relationship try not to let arguments tarnish your relationship. Yes, it’ll happen but life is truly too short.
Have you ever been in a situation where you & your SO (significant other) got into an argument whether it’s in person, or over the phone? And 9/10 it usually doesn’t end on a good note? I’ve been there plenty of times.
I personally feel that it’s not a good idea to go to bed mad about ANYTHING. I use “romantic relationships” as the core of this post because a lot of us have this bad when it comes to this department.
I know there’s times where you may get into an argument with maybe a friend or someone and when you have said your last words & it’s all been let out you want to leave the situation alone. It’s best that you both talk it out, preferably in person. You’re probably thinking why does that make a difference? Well the tone of your voice over the phone could be interpreted the wrong way. Nonverbal cues (rolling of the eyes, looking the other way, hands in the pocket, body language) helps you interpret the msg that their trying to make & where they’re coming from.
Oh yea, let’s talk about interpretation. Ever got a text msg and thought someone had an attitude but they may not have had one but you “assumed” they did then conflict may have occurred? Even if they didn’t use exclamations or CAPS you truly felt they had an attitude. I myself try to avoid assuming things like this. If I can’t talk to the person about the situation face-to-face, I usually call them up: that’s make that my PLAN B.
--Getting back on track--
Okay so let me run this down with a few helpful tips with scenarios included:
Get into an argument with someone over the phone:
PLAN A-calm down, then call them & ask them to come over so you two can talk it out
*if it can’t happen*
PLAN B-calm down, then try discussing it over the phone.
Argument through text msg:
PLAN A-call the person up if you sense some tension in the text msg, and ask the person about whatever it is you’re confused about.
*if that can’t happen*
PLAN B-ask what the person meant, and when doing this ask one question at a time in each text. People tend to look over things when you’re asking multiple things at once so you would want to be as accurate and clear as possible.
Argument face-to-face:
Take a few minutes to get your thoughts together, then talk it out & make your valued points. Don’t BS and try to make the person even more upset, because you will be wasting not only their time but yours as well.
The feeling of going to bed mad is a nasty feeling at times. You never really go to bed “right away”. Why? Because you’re laying there thinking about what occurred today. Why the person said this or that. Or something about it is eating you up inside. I’m not saying that these techniques will always work or for every situation, but it’s worth trying and worth changing how you handle situations like this.
I can personally say I have changed my ways and outlook on this. I can actually say I rarely get into arguments with the individuals that I use to get into arguments with over & over again. And it’s made me a better person & relationships are much better. I like discussing serious things face-to-face. I can better express how I feel about things that way. Also, don’t get the meaning of arguments and disagreements mixed up. They’re completely different.
So if you’re in a relationship try not to let arguments tarnish your relationship. Yes, it’ll happen but life is truly too short.
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