I was just thinking the past few weeks, and reflecting on how far I've came from the damaged, and dark road. As I removed myself from certain things and people, I noticed there are great people on this earth still. But then I wonder why aren't they closer in region? From people on Youtube, Twitter, I have had the chance to build some sort of friendship with a few that have really restored my hope in friendship. I almost lost hope of that also.
A broken heart+ lack of REAL friends swallowed me up in a hole.
I wish those that I know through different social networks and sites were my REAL friends. The type you can hang with, talk to on the phone, call up whenever you feel like it. It's great to feel included, having blog chats, talking one on one. Just to have a bond with other intelligent ladies.
One time, I thought "Where did I go wrong?" What did I do?
I use to always have friends growing up. It started my junior year in HS when all of my friends turned their backs on me. They didn't have a reason to. What hurt the most is that without ME they wouldn't have known one another. I use to want a "Sorry", or anything acknowledging the pain I felt. Never got it. I mean it's been 5 years or so.
Long ago, I stopped waiting on something they were never going to give me. I forgive them. I truly do. It's funny because there's only a few of them that keep in touch till this day. But my junior and senior year in HS was so so so so bad for me. Dealing with that, grades, the death of my farther, & preparing for college was just a lot for me at the time.
At times, I don't know how I made it. I felt like that I wouldn't make it. God is amazing. Because so many thoughts clouded my mind, and here I am today April 5th 2011 college graduate, no kids, healthy, & a great mother by side. I'm blessed. I'm not where I want to be, but clearly where I need to be.
There have been quit a few times when I was down. I mean DOWN. God still managed to push me and kept me going. At times we think certain times in our lives is the end, we can't go on any longer, but God has a plan. We have to remember we don't make the rules. He has it all planned out. One thing I have to stop doing is thinking I have things under control, and stop planning things out. God has a plan for me. I'm not the author of this book, He is.
I'm going off tangent. But all in all, I'm finally in love with what I have & presented with. Those that aren't around, their lost. I'm no longer trying to rekindle friendships. That was the old me. The new me, could careless. It's about ME. Not to say I'm conceited or selfish, there's just certain bridges you just have to burn.
A broken heart+ lack of REAL friends swallowed me up in a hole.
I wish those that I know through different social networks and sites were my REAL friends. The type you can hang with, talk to on the phone, call up whenever you feel like it. It's great to feel included, having blog chats, talking one on one. Just to have a bond with other intelligent ladies.
One time, I thought "Where did I go wrong?" What did I do?
I use to always have friends growing up. It started my junior year in HS when all of my friends turned their backs on me. They didn't have a reason to. What hurt the most is that without ME they wouldn't have known one another. I use to want a "Sorry", or anything acknowledging the pain I felt. Never got it. I mean it's been 5 years or so.
Long ago, I stopped waiting on something they were never going to give me. I forgive them. I truly do. It's funny because there's only a few of them that keep in touch till this day. But my junior and senior year in HS was so so so so bad for me. Dealing with that, grades, the death of my farther, & preparing for college was just a lot for me at the time.
At times, I don't know how I made it. I felt like that I wouldn't make it. God is amazing. Because so many thoughts clouded my mind, and here I am today April 5th 2011 college graduate, no kids, healthy, & a great mother by side. I'm blessed. I'm not where I want to be, but clearly where I need to be.
There have been quit a few times when I was down. I mean DOWN. God still managed to push me and kept me going. At times we think certain times in our lives is the end, we can't go on any longer, but God has a plan. We have to remember we don't make the rules. He has it all planned out. One thing I have to stop doing is thinking I have things under control, and stop planning things out. God has a plan for me. I'm not the author of this book, He is.
I'm going off tangent. But all in all, I'm finally in love with what I have & presented with. Those that aren't around, their lost. I'm no longer trying to rekindle friendships. That was the old me. The new me, could careless. It's about ME. Not to say I'm conceited or selfish, there's just certain bridges you just have to burn.
Stay encouraged in the Lord Ashley. I am praying that the Lord will mend your heart and also that he will convict the hearts of those that turned from you for no good reason. You must also pray for them too. "Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you".
ReplyDeleteLuke 6:28 What they meant for bad...God has turned to good because this trial has made you do some deep self reflection and has drawn you closer to God. To everything there is a season...use this time to to strengthen your relationship with the ONE who has your back when everyone else turns their back on you! Kiah
You're right. That is one thing I do try to do is pray for others. I'm not selfish when it comes to praying for others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that scripture.
I try to always remember every single person, but if I can't I always generalize it [God knows the ones I love and pray for, even those I don't know]
ReplyDeletehttp://themessenger-bag.blogspot.com
Good point Abigail.
ReplyDeleteI think this testimony is amazing, again, inspiring. Really, thank you for sharing, i can relate, especially the part on the friendship, and the it is just making me think about where i am now and where am going.. I think it takes someone really strong to overcome situations like this and to look at things so positively after!! Keep praying and being so bright :)
ReplyDeleteIt really did take me some time to look at things the way I do. I'm growing spiritually & I love it!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found this inspiring :)