As the details aren't clear, as time fades away...& well I was never really aware of what was really going on. I remember it started when I was in my Senior year in HS. I was told that my father was sick. I knew something was wrong with him before I was told he was sick. He was no longer at his OWN house that he had put so much time & effort in, & he was now living with my grandmother 4-6 miles away from his own.
[custom made bracelet I purchased through Kill Pink]
I remember visiting him every so often at my grandmothers. He would be sitting in a wheelchair as if he was spacing out. As soon as I would walk into the house, I would go directly to where he was & give him a hug...."Hi Di", that is what I called him every since I started talking. I didn't call him dad, I called him Di...aka Dad. He didn't say anything back.I wasn't use to seeing him like this. Lifeless. And then one of his arms would shake. I knew he wasn't well. I would sit there & just admire him, not thinking his days were numbered. I didn't know what was wrong with him, what he had or anything. That's how
Weeks later...I remember...it was like a week or days before my prom (2004). And we know after prom comes the big grad party (Disneyland for us Cali folks), then graduation. I guess my mom got a phone call stating that I should come see him because he wasn't doing good. I could SEE he wasn't. He was nothing but skin & bones. My father was never a husky man, but this person laying in this hospice bed was not my dad. My aunt left me to be with my dad. I remember till this day...I told him "Please hang in there, I'll be graduating soon, then off to college. I'll get my degree being a doctor & help you out...please!" I knew I never wanted to be a doctor, but the thought that MAYBE by me becoming one, him hearing me say this, I could save his life. He just laid there...lifeless than before. I didn't want to leave him, but I had no choice.
Now that I think about it, I'm a bit jealous that I wasn't one of the people that was able to be there with him before he passed. As bizarre as that may sounds. That's what I wish now that I'm thinking about it. But it happened the way God planned for it to be. He knew I couldn't handle that.
Days after my father passed away, one of my aunts (My dads sister) told me he had Alzheimer's Disease. I didn't know what that was at the time. I just knew it had taken my everything, the grandfather of my unborn children away from me. The man who would have bought my first car, put these "knuckle heads" (guys)as he would say, in their place.
